Didn’t rise. Didn’t double in size.
Looked pretty. Tasted tough.
Looked bad. Tasted great.
It was not my Sunday.
It started with a hamburger press – a very cool gadget Big D brought home and presented like a handful of freshly picked flowers. It was (he had it on good authority) used at a Shoney’s Big Boy during the ‘60s. Perfectly formed patties guaranteed.
All I could think as I used my new (old) gadget, burger meat sticking to the top of the press and oozing out the sides was, “Oh yeah Buddy?! Press this!”
(Buddy is the name I’ve given the imaginary guy who tells me what I should do, then puts his stinky, size 13 boot on my neck, and tells me why I can’t do it.)
Which is what I sometimes think when I’m blogging. Sometimes, I’m slogging through.
10 Signs Your Blog Has Hit the Wall:
1. You give a post three titles.
2. Your coffee never gets cold.
3. You uh . . . umm . . .
4. You use your keyboard to “slfsslksfslfaslkasldfkjal;sdkjf;alsjka;slkfja;slkdjfa;slkjfas;lkjfasl;kdjasldkfjlaskjalskdjjfaslkdk” to the tune of Rossini’s William Tell Overture (Lone Ranger theme song).
5. You welcome a call from a telemarketer. “Yes, please tell me more about this propane of which you speak. . . . Natural gas processing and petroleum refining. Fascinating.”
6. You read and congratulate yourself on all your previous posts. “Post #33. Ah, that was good one.”
7. The curser marker makes you sleepy, like it’s some kind of Microsoft hypnosis, “You. Can. Write. An. Oth. Er. Day. Just. Go. To. Sleep. E. Lit. Le. Ba. . . . By.”
8. You write a list of 10.
9. A cat lying across your keyboard is all the excuse you need not to write. “Oh, can’t do it. There’s a cat on my keyboard.”
10. You start a house fire for material. (I’ll tell you about it another time. Gotta milk these things ya know.)