Help! My blog’s cog is stuck! (And I apologize in advance for this post.)
I’ve come to a point in this blogging experience where I’ve hit my first wall. It’s not that I don’t have any ideas. It’s just that none of them are particularly good. I’m sure I’m the first person in the short history of blogging that this has ever happened to. I’m sure no other blogger has ever cobbled something – anything together just to have something to post.
Ahem, moving on. . . .
So in the absence of a profound topic, I thought I’d talk about useless superpowers. I was watching Monk the other day and his assistant Natalie discovered his superpower. If someone writes on a piece of paper and uses his back as a desk, he can feel the letters and numbers, transpose them, and figure out what the person wrote down. It’s how he got his future wife’s phone number. I have that superpower too. And I’ve got a few others:
- I can spell and say any word backwards. (.sdrawkcab drow yna yas dna lleps nac I)
- I can read upside down.
- I can see through Shoji screens, provided there’s a strong light source behind it.
- I can make an entire bag of chips disappear.
- I am a specialist in the field of dipology. I can take any basic ingredients that happen to be in the fridge and turn them into a delicious dip for my bag of chips.
If only there was a way to make money at these. . . .
Big D has a superpower that comes in really handy for a blogger. He is brilliant at naming things. When I’m stuck for a title of a post, he makes up something amazing. And on that note, he came up with the following acronym for my final superpower:
I am a VOLE, which is the useful talent for instantly recognizing and verbally identifying the actor doing the voice-over work in a commercial or animated feature. Big D says this is not to be confused with a:
The latter is a group of bloated gasbags who are constantly blaming others for their inability to recognize voice talent. Perpetually engaged in finger pulling, uh . . . pointing and never bringing to light a match . . . you know, between the voice and the actor.
Anyway, I have no idea what I’m doing next for the blog. The fortune pictured above assures me that whatever I write is the most beautiful thing. Readers of this post might beg to differ. Thank you for hanging in there with me while I wait for a spark of genius . . . or perhaps the blue flame of ignited flatus.
– Anita, Noted in Nashville
What’s your useless superpower? Have you figured out a way to make money at it? Do tell.