Whatever Am I Doing? Whatever I Am Doing . . .

My Blog is stuck in the Cog.  Noted in Nashville.Whatever Am I Doing?  Whatever I Am Doing . . .

Help!  My blog’s cog is stuck!  (And I apologize in advance for this post.)

I’ve come to a point in this blogging experience where I’ve hit my first wall.  It’s not that I don’t have any ideas.  It’s just that none of them are particularly good.  I’m sure I’m the first person in the short history of blogging that this has ever happened to.  I’m sure no other blogger has ever cobbled something – anything together just to have something to post.

Ahem, moving on. . . .

So in the absence of a profound topic, I thought I’d talk about useless superpowers.  I was watching Monk the other day and his assistant Natalie discovered his superpower.  If someone writes on a piece of paper and uses his back as a desk, he can feel the letters and numbers, transpose them, and figure out what the person wrote down.  It’s how he got his future wife’s phone number.  I have that superpower too.  And I’ve got a few others:

  • I can spell and say any word backwards.  (.sdrawkcab drow yna yas dna lleps nac I)
  • I can read upside down.
  • I can see through Shoji screens, provided there’s a strong light source behind it.
  • I can make an entire bag of chips disappear.
  • I am a specialist in the field of dipology.  I can take any basic ingredients that happen to be in the fridge and turn them into a delicious dip for my bag of chips.

If only there was a way to make money at these. . . .

Whatever am I doing?  Whatever I am doing. . .

Useless superpowers cape. Okay, okay it’s a caroling cape.

Big D has a superpower that comes in really handy for a blogger.  He is brilliant at naming things.  When I’m stuck for a title of a post, he makes up something amazing.  And on that note, he came up with the following acronym for my final superpower:

Voice-
Over
Latency
Expert

I am a VOLE, which is the useful talent for instantly recognizing and verbally identifying the actor doing the voice-over work in a commercial or animated feature.  Big D says this is not to be confused with a:

Freelance
Auditory
Recognition
Technician

The latter is a group of bloated gasbags who are constantly blaming others for their inability to recognize voice talent.  Perpetually engaged in finger pulling, uh . . . pointing and never bringing to light a match . . .  you know, between the voice and the actor.

Anyway, I have no idea what I’m doing next for the blog.  The fortune pictured above assures me that whatever I write is the most beautiful thing.  Readers of this post might beg to differ.  Thank you for hanging in there with me while I wait for a spark of genius . . . or perhaps the blue flame of ignited flatus.

– Anita, Noted in Nashville

What’s your useless superpower?  Have you figured out a way to make money at it?  Do tell.

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13 thoughts on “Whatever Am I Doing? Whatever I Am Doing . . .

  1. Ooh, I’m a pretty decent VOLE, too. I’m also pretty good at identifying a person’s country of origin based on their accent. And I’m really, really good at eating popcorn and chocolate.

    • That’s cool that you can figure out a person’s country of origin. I never even thought to try that one – unless it’s really obvious, like England.

      Oh, how I wish there was a way of making money with that last talent. And speaking of chocolate, I’m off to make a chocolate pie! Thanks for stopping by on a Friday night. Have a great weekend.

  2. I’m awesome at taking blurry photos. I’m totally awesome at reading body language, too. I have a post ready that I wrote last night about hitting the same wall, although mine is slightly a different tone than yours. It’s tough going through these little moments.

    • I can’t wait to check out your post, and I love the superpower of taking blurry photos. You could turn that into “the style”. Then, when you look at other people’s photos you can say, “Those are good, but . . . they’re all in focus. I guess that’s cool too.” 🙂

      • Interesting, whereas there’s probably not much demand for that. Similarly related, Gene Hackman was the voice of Home Depot, and that changed, the next having a very familiar resonance, cadence, etc, which makes me wonder about copyright. Carrol Shelby, customizer of the Ford Shelby cars had “copyrighted voice of Carrol Shelby” subtitled in his Z-max car lubricant ad.

        I got her to divulge the list tonight.

        Hillshire Farms – Kevin Bacon
        LensCrafters – Kevin Spacey
        Olive Garden- Julie Bowen
        V8 juice – Leslie Mann
        Esurance – John Krasinski
        Hyundai – Jeff Bridges
        Home Depot – Gene Hackman
        Healthy Choice – Mindy Kaling
        Applebee’s – John Corbett
        Applebee’s – Jason Sudeikis
        Campbell’s – Tim Allen
        Autotrader – Christian Slater
        Acura – James Spader
        Reliant – Matthew McConaughey
        Bank of America – Keifer Sutherland
        Coldwell Banker – Tom Selleck
        Zyrtec – Ed O’Neill
        Hertz – Owen Wilson
        M&M – Vanessa Williams
        AT&T – Peter Krause
        Hebrew National – Adam West
        LensCrafters – Kevin Spacey
        Advil – Jeremy Sisto
        Fage yogurt – Willem Dafoe
        Hormel – Mary Steenbergen
        Chevrolet – Tim Allen
        TDAmeritrade – Matt Damon
        Liberty Mutual – Paul Giamotti
        Enterprise – Tom Selleck
        Energizer -Jeff Bridges
        Chrysler – Catherine Keener
        Nationwide – Julia Roberts
        University of Phoenix – Isabella Rossellini,
        Apple – Jeff Daniels
        Special K – Angie Harmon

        I believe that’s 35, prerequisite being that the actor’s image does not appear in the ad, purely voiceover.

      • Awesome! She confirmed all my suspicions – except University of Phoenix. It didn’t occur to me that the voice is sometimes Ms. Rossellini’s. They also use Phylicia Rashad. Home Depot uses Ed Harris now. Does your wife get a prize when she gets to 40? 🙂

  3. Pingback: Welcome to Broke 101 — Tuition Is Free | (Re)Creating Carly

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